The Truth About Dating in Denmark
Hey Friends!
Today we’re going to talk about dating in Denmark. After living here for over a decade and hearing countless stories from friends and fellow expats, I've got some insights that might surprise you – or at least prepare you for the Danish dating scene.
Full Disclosure - I’m married, been with my now wife but over ten years, but we did meet here in Denmark - while studying in CBS.
But - while I've been out of the dating game for a while, I've done my research and collected plenty of stories to give you the real scoop. So, let's jump into the truth about dating in Denmark – the good, the bad, and the hygge.
- The Equality Paradox
First things first: Denmark is famous for its gender equality, right? Well, this equality extends to dating, but maybe not in the way you'd expect.
In Denmark, it's completely normal for women to make the first move, ask guys out, or even propose.
This could be tricky if you’re new to Denmark. I’m from South America, and this was shocking to me - and something I never got used to.
Expat women especially are challenged on that Danish men can be shy and not very forthcoming when it comes to asking them out.
And this is not a subjective opinion. A survey by the dating app Happn found that 74% of Danish women prefer to be the ones to make the first move. Compare this to other European countries where this percentage is typically around 30-40%. So, if you're waiting for a Dane to sweep you off your feet, you might be waiting a while!
Again, generalizing here - not every single person is the same.
- The Alcohol Factor
Alcohol. It plays a significant role in Danish social life, and yes, that includes dating.
Many Danes feel more comfortable flirting and approaching potential partners after a few drinks. In fact, a study by the Danish Health Authority found that Danes have one of the highest binge-drinking rates in Europe, with 37% of adults reporting heavy episodic drinking in the past 30 days.
Now, I'm not saying you need to get drunk to date in Denmark. But don't be surprised if many social interactions, including first dates, involve alcohol. The famous Danish concept of "hygge" often includes sharing a few beers or a bottle of wine.
If you're not a drinker, don't worry. Just be upfront about it, and suggest alternative date ideas like a coffee or a walk in one of Copenhagen's beautiful parks.
- Danish Directness
Danes are known for their directness, and this applies to dating too. On the plus side, there's usually less game-playing and mixed signals than you might find in other cultures.
However, this directness can sometimes come across as bluntness or even rudeness to expats who are used to more diplomatic communication. Don't be shocked if a Dane tells you outright that they're not interested, or if they expect the same clarity from you.
A friend of mine, an American expat, once told me she was taken aback when her Danish date told her, "I think you're attractive and I'd like to sleep with you." While this might seem too forward in many cultures, in Denmark is not unheard of.
My tip? Appreciate the clarity, even if it sometimes feels awkward. And don't be afraid to be direct yourself about your intentions and feelings.
- The Casual Approach
Here's something that often surprises expats: Danish dating culture is generally very casual. The concept of going on formal dates isn't as common here as in some other countries.
Instead, many Danes prefer to meet in more relaxed settings, often in groups of friends. It's not uncommon for relationships to develop slowly from friendships. This can be confusing if you're used to a more structured dating approach.
A study by the Danish National Institute of Public Health found that 41% of Danish couples met through their social network. Only 14% met through what you might call traditional dating.
My advice? Don't put too much pressure on "dates." Be open to social gatherings and group activities as a way to meet potential partners.
- The Independence Factor
Danes value their independence highly, and this doesn't change when they enter a relationship. If you're used to spending every waking moment with a new partner, you might need to adjust your expectations in Denmark.
It's normal and healthy here for couples to have separate lives and interests. Don't be surprised if your Danish partner wants to maintain their own friend group and hobbies.
A survey by the Danish Family Planning Association found that 79% of Danes believe it's important to maintain individual friendships and interests when in a relationship. This independence extends to living arrangements too – Denmark has one of the highest rates of single-person households in the EU, at around 45%.
The key here is to find a balance between togetherness and independence that works for both of you.
- The App Scene
Now, let's talk about dating apps. They're big everywhere, but in Denmark, they've taken on a life of their own.
Tinder, Bumble, and Happn are popular, but there's also a Danish app called Mingl that's gaining traction. These apps have become a staple in the Danish dating scene, especially in urban areas like Copenhagen.
A study by the Danish Statistics Bureau found that 35% of Danish singles have used a dating app in the past year. That's higher than the European average of about 25%.
But here's the kicker: Danes approach dating apps with the same directness and casualness they bring to in-person dating. Don't be surprised if someone suggests meeting up for a beer right after matching. And remember — women are just as likely to make the first move on apps as men
My advice? If you're using dating apps in Denmark, be prepared for quick transitions from online to offline. Danes generally prefer to meet in person sooner rather than later to see if there's a real connection. There’s also a bigger focus vs. other places on finding a longer-term partner vs. a more casual connect.
What has been your experience with dating in Denmark? Let me know in the comments below. And if you found this video helpful, don't forget to like and subscribe for more insights into expat life in Denmark.
Next up, check out my video on "10 Danish Phrases That Will Make You Sound Like a Local" – it might come in handy for your next date! Thanks for watching, and skål!
